Americans are Having Less Sex than Americans Did in the 1930s: Here’s Why
Sex expert explains why our sexual activity is on the decline, and how to fix it
It might seem like our culture is saturated with sex, but the reality is that Americans are actually having less sex than ever before. In fact, our sexual activity is on a sharp decline, with a new study form A new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior showing that Americans are having sex nine times less per year than they were in the 1990s. In fact, we are having less sex than people did in the 1930s!
The study researchers point to rampant smartphone usage and our tech-heavy culture as a possible culprit.
“The results of this study reflect what I have seen with my own patients. The average person checks their phone every six and a half minutes. Some people even check their phone during intimacy! This is certainly taking a toll on our ability to connect and be present with our partner.”
Dr. Berman believes that part of the issue is that people’s ability to listen and be present has been negatively impacted by technology.
“One thing I have noted about social media and smartphone use is that people can be very distracted as well as less present when someone else is talking,” says the sex therapist. “They interrupt, finish people’s sentences, or leap to their ‘rebuttal’ before really hearing what is being said. This can be devastating for a romantic relationship, as communication is key for a healthy marriage.”
But, there is a solution, and it isn’t giving up Facebook.
“We all need to become masters of ‘whole-hearted hearing.’ This is what I call it when you actually hear your partner, rather than just listening. It’s simple, but that does not mean it is easy,” says Dr. Berman. “When your partner is talking, disengage from your need to reply. Don’t seek to agree or disagree with what is being said. Do not think of your response. Try to listen without formulating any judgment about what is being said at all.”
In addition, Dr. Berman advises:
- Have a tech-free time each day. “Place a bowl or basket on a high shelf. Keep your phones there during dinner or for a set period of time (such as 7-9 p.m. each night). Don’t bring your phones with you on date night unless necessary.”
- Take a one-week social media vacation each month. “For one week out of each month, do not post on Facebook/Twitter and do not waste hours scrolling through the sites. Taking frequent small breaks from social media will cleanse your mind and give you more free time.”
- Have a positive talk rule. “Make a rule that you will not complain about your partner on social media, and that if you do post about your relationship, that it is only positive. The internet is no place for private relationship discussions.”