Ask Isadora: Too Much Of A Good Thing

 Too Much of a Good Thing
 * I read a story on the Internet recently of a guy who took too much Viagra and died. Is that possible?
Yes, of course it’s possible. One can die from too much anything, even water! Any medicine or drug that is powerful enough to make changes in the body – take away pain, reduce appetite, increase an erection – is powerful enough to cause unwanted reactions as well. Some people are allergic to certain substances that are totally harmless to others. Look at the lowly peanut. Never take any drug, whether legal or prescribed or not, in any way other than is recommended by the manufacturer or by your doctor. And lastly, I recommend you take any story you read on the Internet with a shaker full of salt. It’s the word’s greatest invention for fable spreading and rumor mongering, even though this one may have been true.
*My boyfriend’s nose runs when we’re making love. I doubt if he has a constant cold or seasonal allergies. We’ve been together long enough, almost six months, for me to say with certainty that his nose always runs when we have sex. I don’t see him sniffing at any other time. What’s this about? Can he be allergic to me or to sex itself? That would be awful!
Wouldn’t it just? No, what happens is that the mucous membranes of the body swell during sexual excitement in both men and women. As a woman you must be aware of your own that goes along with creating your sexual lubrication. Mucous membranes line the nose too and his are undoubtedly just very excitable. Next time he sniffs, consider yourself flattered, or suggest he take a precoital antihistamine.
* Is it possible to fall out of love with a friend like you would with a romantic partner?
Unfortunately, yes. Friends’ likes and wants change just as lovers do, and friendships can run out of steam too.
* Why does make-up sex have such a good reputation? When I’m angry the last thing I want to do is be intimate with my wife. I don’t want to kiss and make up until I’m good and ready. In fact, when I’m mad I don’t even want to talk to her until I cool down. After an argument she seems to get all mushy and kittenish. I don’t understand it and I don’t like it. Do some people really think being sexual with someone you’re angry at is a good thing? Is this a men vs. women thing?
No. It’s a very individual propensity. Some people are sulkers and take a while to cool down . Others are like flash fires – hot, intense, and over it in a hurry. You seem to be one sort of person and your wife the other. Hey, opposites often attract for that very reason. Neither is typical of men nor of women. When there is an argument there are intense feelings. Arousing anger also arouses other emotions in some people. Adrenaline is coursing through the veins and the excitement feels like…well, excitement. That’s why, for some people, a rousing argument is sexual foreplay and make-up sex is a great culmination to it. If it isn’t for you, then it isn’t. Neither you nor your wife is wrong in this, just different. It’s important in any good marriage that such differences in temperament and style are acknowledged and accommodated. What makes a good couple is not that there are no differences, since there always are differences, but that such differences are taken into account and worked with or around.