Ask Isadora: No Kisses For You

No Kisses For You
* I am a female in my early 20s. I am getting married to a sweet guy my age. When we got together he told me he wasn’t into kissing that much. Even though I love kissing I accepted it. We’ve been together for two years and he never kisses me. He doesn’t like being kissed on the neck and he wont do it to me. He’s not into foreplay of any type and I am starting to get really sad. I get no affection in these kinds of areas. His idea of affection is sex and I’m just not that into sex. I don’t feel anything and if I do it hurts me. I cant reach a G spot orgasm and I’m sick of guiding him through sex. I tell him what I like and he does the opposite and gets furious if I even LOOK at a vibrator. I know he is very insecure because he tells me. He does hug me and loves to hold my hand but I’d like more. He’s not really open to new things, only things that he and every other guy likes. I recently gained 50 pounds and I’m starting to think it’s me. I love him and know he loves me but what should I do?
If your wedding is already scheduled the first thing to do is to postpone or cancel it. The situation you describe, two insecure, immature people with enormously different sexual and affection preferences, does not look good for a lasting marriage. Such things are very unlikely to improve over time.  Next, get yourself into counseling, preferably together, with a therapist who specializes in sex therapy. If he will not accompany you, go alone. There are so many issues here I hardly know where to begin. Just as one example, sex should not hurt; and for another, a recent weight gain of that magnitude signals something in your life needs serious attention.
*I’m a guy who wants to know how women feel about facial hair. Is there a difference in whether they prefer beards or mustaches or both?
There is no universal “they” for women, or for men, for that matter. There are as many differences as there are people in what appeals and what does not. I personally hate the little chin tuft that’s been so popular of late and really appreciate full beards and bushy mustaches on a men who can carry them off. Facial hair comes and goes into popular fashion in all sorts of arrangements, but that still doesn’t tell you about the preferences of any particular woman. What’s more important is what she prefers on your face
* I have a former friend who is “former” for very good reasons. Now I find out that my boyfriend’s best friend is dating her and my guy thinks we ought to double date. I am okay with my boyfriend’s friend and with double dating with him and anyone else, but I don’t like this woman and I don’t want to hang out with her socially. What do I do?
Refuse. I assume you’re an adult. You can chose with whom you want to spend your social time. Tell your boyfriend how you feel quite plainly. (You don’t have to go into the details of what a skank your ex-friend is. After all, HIS friend thinks she’s fine.) If your boyfriend is at all sensitive he’ll honor your feelings and find some nice way to tell his friend double dating is a no-go. If he isn’t sensitive to your feelings, it’s better finding that out sooner than later, right?