Ask Isadora : X Marks The Spot

 X Marks the Spot
* You must get asked this often but I would really like to know: Does the G Spot exist? Does every women have one?
The definitive book on this is The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality by Ladas, Whipple, and Perry originally published in the early 80’s and now updated and out in paper back. The G Spot is an area of special sensitivity about 2” inside the vagina and toward the front of the body which swells during sexual arousal to about the size of a walnut. For some women stimulation of that area is highly arousing; others not so much or at all. We are, after all, individual creatures and what can be more individual than what is sexually pleasurable?
* My wife has lost any desire for sexual intimacy. She says that it has nothing to do with me, that she still loves me, but she just has no interest in sex. I am still a young man. Where does that leave me?
Up the proverbial creek, I’m afraid. Unhappily, this is a very frequent situation in long term couples, that one partner turns off and simply abandons the other in this specific way, and it is not always the woman who loses all desire. A logical solution would be an open marriage but not too many monogamous couples see that as logical or a solution. Every couple in this situation arrives at whatever arrangement they can that does not leave both partners feeling resentful and/or put upon. Usually it’s some sort of compromise where one partner has more sex than s/he ideally would like to and the other settles for less. In any case, if this is a situation that threatens to destroy your marriage I urge you to insist on sex therapy to assist in coming to some workable arrangement.
* I am 44 and have had my period twice this month. Earlier this year there was one month I barely had one at all. I have always been quite regular with a light period every 30 days since I started at age 12. Should I be worried about these changes in my cycle?
When one’s body does something atypical it’s always a good idea to have it checked out. There is a reason for the adage “better safe than sorry”. My guess is that you are probably entering perimenopause, the time that covers just before, during and immediately after menstruation stops. This time can last as long as ten years, so early 40’s is not that unusual to begin to notice some changes. I would keep watch of any other body differences that might confirm this such as further irregularities in your cycle, hot flashes, night sweats, thinning hair, unusual mood swings, lessening of vaginal lubrication,, and potential fluctuations in levels of desire. Not all these things occur with all women, I’m delighted to say, but these and other less than wonderful variations can occur as estrogen and testosterone levels decrease. If you want to know for sure if you are beginning menopause it is possible to have a your hormone levels tested by your doctor.