Ask Isadora : What I Wish Men Knew

 What I Wish Men Knew
* I am new to the area and really don’t know how to go about making friends. It was a lot easier when I was in school. I would like some woman friends but I also wouldn’t mind meeting also someone special to date. Where do I begin?
You begin by going to places where the people you want to meet might be – neighborhood groups, professional associations, volunteer opportunities, singles’ mixers, community events – and then talking to people once you are there.  Going to the same place repeatedly provides the opportunity for others to become familiar with you and makes the process easier. Because this is such a common concern for women and men of all ages I have written a booklet entitled “New Ways To Meet New People” ($5 to me care of this paper) covering handy tips and specific suggestions. There is also an article I wrote on this subject in the Library of my free interactive website
* A friend of mine, a guy in his 20’s like me, was just diagnosed with cancer of the testicle. I’m embarrassed to ask him too many questions about how he found out and what happened next but the idea scared me. What should I watch out for?
Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in young men in their teens through 30’s. Common symptoms are: a lump or enlargement in either testicle (cancer usually occurs in only one testicle), pain or discomfort in the area, a feeling of heaviness in the scrotum or a collection of fluid there, a dull ache in the abdomen or groin, tenderness or swelling in the breasts, or a general feeling of being unwell. Testicular cancer tends to run in families and may have something to do with undescended testicles in infancy. Please ask your doctor to show you how to do a monthly self-examination for lumps. This is part of a general health maintenance and is no cause for embarrassment. Even if a testicle has to be removed because of cancer it often still possible to become a father.
* I am a single woman who dates and there is something I sure wish the men I meet would get. Since I know a lot of people read your column I’m hoping this will be a good way for me to reach them. “Guys, I want the same thing you do – a good time with someone who’s company I can enjoy, in bed and out of bed. Don’t rush the bed part and you’ll stand a much better chance of getting there! Take the time to get to know me as a person first and not just as a female with interesting body parts.”
Many women share your feelings. There are certain themes I hear often. This is one of them, the belief that women want friendship or love first which then might lead to sex and that men want sex first which then might lead to friendship or love. I’m happy to get your message out. In fact, women, if there’s something else you wish more men would hear write me and let me know. I’ll publish your message. Men, this goes for you too. What do you want more women you date to know? Write me here and I’ll tell them.