Ask Isadora : Where’s the Hair?

 Where’s the Hair?
* My new boyfriend was helping me in my yard and when he rolled up his jeans I saw he had absolutely no hair on his lower legs, less than mine and I am a woman who shaves mine every day. He has a normal beard growth on his face so I’m wondering what this means. Could he be a cross dresser?
He could, but that’s not the first conclusion to which I would jump. He could be a competitive swimmer or racer who shaves for that reason. He could be a businessman who wears tight dress socks every day. That wears away leg hair. He could have had chemotherapy which often creates body hair loss. Do some more investigating before you contemplate entering him in a drag contest.
* My wife has been diagnosed with sleep apnea and has been assigned a C-Pap machine to wear at night. In case you don’t know what that is, it’s a breathing machine with a long hose and mask that attaches to her face when she sleeps. She looks like something from Star Wars or a mechanical elephant. Definitely not sexy. Is this the end of our love life?
It needn’t be. If you usually make love before going to sleep asking her to not put it on just yet is a good way to alert her that you have other plans. If you are a morning man you can gently remove it from her face before kissing her awake. There’s nothing wrong with daytime sex either if you can arrange it.  In other words, you can make adjustments to allow for it. Breaking the routine of how and when you do make love is always good for a marriage. Be creative. You do not have to have Darth Vader fantasies to make love to your wife.
* Is it all right to reuse a condom? If it isn’t, what do we do if we run out?
No, it’s not okay to reuse them. Wrap the used one in a tissue and throw it away. If you must, you can use clear clingy kitchen wrap. A better idea if you find yourself without  is to confine yourself to “outercourse” activities – all sorts of feel-good things that do not include intercourse. In the future, follow the Scouting motto and always be prepared by keeping extras in your night table, medicine chest, purse, or glove compartment, but NOT in your wallet if you keep that in your back pocket. Condoms degrade with heat over time.
* I am recently divorced from my childhood sweetheart. We were married for 27 years and I have never been with another woman. I’m afraid when I start dating again that my sexual inexperience will make me a less than adequate partner for most women. What can I do?

 The first thing you can do is to stop worrying. You have 27 years of sexual experience so you are no virgin. Everyone has to learn anew with a new partner since no two people are alike in their skills and preferences. Please do not assume that whatever you did with your wife is THE way or whatever she liked or didn’t is true of all women. Keep an experimental mindset and learn together with a new partner what will be pleasing to you both. Talk about your preferences, desires, fears. With an open mind and an open heart you will undoubtedly be a better lover than a man who thinks he knows everything because he’s “been around” with a number of women.