Ask Isadora: The Mysterious Down There

*Where does a woman pee from? I am very confused about this. Is it from the clit? Is there an opening in the clit? Is it from inside the pussy, is that it?

* With so much information available on the Net and in public libraries it’s time to access a drawing of the female sex organs and learn, if you don’t have access to the real thing. Imagine yourself looking into the area between a woman’s spread legs with her on an examining table and you sitting on a stool in front. Don’t get excited! This is a clinical examination. Way on top there is a fleshy area where hair grows. This is the pubic mound, or mons. The genitals are an oval surrounded by a fleshy area, usually covered with hair, the outer lips. Within it is the genital oval, usually pink and moist. At the very top is a tiny penis-looking object which is the hooded clitoris and, like the little penis is resembles, it protrudes from the hood and grows larger and harder in sexual arousal. Below the clitoris is the urinary opening, a small hole from which the pee comes out. Below that is a larger hole, the vaginal opening, what you called the pussy. It’s surrounded by a fleshy ring of inner lips or labia. There are two sets of vaginal lips and two openings from which fluid can come out. Only one clitoris, and it has no holes. Got it? If you have a clear idea where everything is, a mental map, it will be less confusing when you encounter the real thing in the heart of passion.

* I’m a nice looking guy in my thirties and I am not working right now. I’m sure a hell of a lot of people are in this position these days. When I ask a girl out and she finds out I don’t have a job it’s like a said I have a terrible disease. No date, no how. Why won’t a woman go out with a guy who is unemployed?

Much depends on the woman and much depends how you explain your situation. “What do you do?” answered by “Nothing” wouldn’t be very reassuring to anyone who might think this is your permanent state. “I’m between gigs” or “I’m an electrician/architect/whatever” without going into details would be a different story. Work on your response to this common question and see if the reactions you get change.

* Can you have more than one sexual partner in your life and have it work out?

Can I? I have, and it worked quite well… until it didn’t, just like most relationships. The question, of course, is can you. Many people have open relationships, that is, sexually nonexclusive . As long as there is no lying and everyone plays safely, there is no reason why this would not be possible unless you believe it isn’t. Some people feel they are naturally monogamous and that love and sex must go together, that jealousy is a natural emotion, and that one can’t have sex without love. If those are your beliefs then you probably can not enjoy having more than one emotional and sexual relationship at a time. Because sexual exclusivity seems to be our cultural norm is no reason to believe that everyone is built that way any more than everyone must be heterosexual or right handed. Some people aren’t by nature and some people aren’t by choice. Where you fit into the scheme of things is for you to discover.