Ask Isadora: Lagging Libido

* I am 35 years old female dealing with menopause. I have not participated in sex with my husband for almost two years. My menopause is causing no interest in sex. I visited a gynecologist for help but I had no success. The doctor gave me a vaginal cream. Nothing improved my condition after cream usage. I need your advise on how to resolve this issue. Depending upon your feed back I am interested in seeking any medications/Doctor’s help if needed.

I would certainly consult another doctor, one more sympathetic to the issue of  lack of desire and one more knowledgeable in women’s concerns.  The cream you were given probably contained testosterone, the male hormone responsible for sexual desire in both men and women. While there are no magic pills guaranteed to restore a lagging libido, and testosterone is often  helpful, there are some  other medical aids available.  You might also consider seeing a sex therapist for some further explorations.

* Does the G Spot really exist?

Just like not every man can come from blow jobs, or even likes them (yes, really), not all women are positively sensitive around the G Spot.  Some feel nothing, some dislike the sensation of stimulation there. Many doctors say it does not exist because they examine the woman when she is not sexually aroused.  That’s like saying men don’t have erections because you have never seen one in the gym showers. I can attest to the existence of a sensitive spotin the vagina, about a finger’s  length in and to the front, on some women.

* I appreciate your non-judgmental, informative responses in your column.  However on a recent  response was incomplete when someone asked about blacking out after orgasm. That  column came out the same week that my mother (in her 70s) had been in the hospital for an episode in which she had no memory of an action she had done earlier in the day, even when someone described it to her.  After running the full battery of tests,(MRI, blood work, CT scan, heart monitoring) they concluded it was a thing called “Transient Global  Amnesia”, which is not necessarily related to any medical condition, nor

necessarily connected to any medical risks.  When I researched this on  the web, I read that this type of temporary memory loss can occur after certain stimuli, including sex.

The Mayo Clinic staff writes: “Transient global amnesia is a sudden, temporary episode of memory loss that can’t be attributed to a more common neurological condition, such as epilepsy or stroke. During an episode of transient global amnesia, your recall of recent events simply vanishes, so you can’t remember where you are or how you got there. You may also draw a blank when asked to remember things that happened a day, a month or even a year ago. With transient global amnesia, you do remember who you are, and recognize the people you know well, but that doesn’t make your memory loss any less disturbing. Fortunately, transient global amnesia is rare, seemingly harmless and unlikely to happen again. Episodes are usually short-lived, and afterward your memory is fine. Sometimes my answers are edited  because of space constraints.  Sometimes I don’t cover a subject as thoroughly as I might for the same reason.  And sometimes, my readers know more about a particular subject than I do.  When that happens, particularly when the additions or corrections are communicated politely, I dearly appreciate the added input and will usually print a follow-up.  Thank you for writing more on this important matter.