Ask Isadora #43-08 : Mating Leftovers

* What do rejected male animals do during the mating season? Do these “dateless” males simply resign themselves to a state of celibacy throughout the season or do they end up attacking a female out of sheer frustration? I have always wondered about this. Also, I want to know if you shred people’s letters after you have answered them in your column or if you keep them in your files indefinitely. Thank you for not requesting that we sign our names.

I don’t even require proof of identity from counseling clients in my office. I understand some people’s desire for anonymity around sexual matters so if “John Doe” or “Mary Smith” makes an appointment for a consultation and pays me in cash, his or her privacy isn’t challenged. The letters I receive that contain any identifying information have that information blacked out if I keep them. I don’t keep emails (which for many years comprise the bulk of the questions I receive). As for your other question, it depends on the animal – ursine, bovine, canine, human. Different mores apply if the creature pairs off or lives with a harem ruled by an alpha male who has access to all the females and guards them from outsiders’ attacks. Males have to woo and win a female or challenge the head honcho for access, attacking him and not an unwilling female. Now, just in case you are a dateless male who is so frustrated that you might consider forcing an unwilling woman – don’t even consider it. The world, you, and the overpopulated prisons will be far better off if you take the time and trouble to learn some wooing skills in order to acquire access to a willing female.

* Okay, call me old fashioned, but I read porn in books instead of watching it on videos. I like to use my imagination. What in the hell is “tit torture”? I guess “nipple torture” is the same only more specific? The thing I read had no accompanying pictures to explain.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. Had it been referred to as “tit play” you might have gotten it immediately. Whether it is torture or play will likely depend on the mindset of the person involved and whether one is the doer or the done to. It is defined as extremely rough play, anything from pinching and twisting to piercing, of the nipples of a consenting partner.

* Do women prefer cut or uncut dicks? The personal ads for men to men almost always say the guy has or wants one or the other. It looks like about half prefer cut and half uncut. I don’t see this mentioned very often in ads for women wanting men.

The hookup ads for men are often penis focused because penises are so eroticized among gay males. The person attached to it is often secondary. We’re talking about sex ads not those looking for a life partner. There are fewer hook up ads run by women because (and here is a generalization although I often urge that they be avoided) fewer women are interested in anonymous sex. If a particular woman is she can usually find it at any bar if she has a mind to. Women usually have more requirements for sex, even casual sex, than many men do. Not all, but often. And now, to answer your question, some women have a preference for cut and some for uncut, but that preference is usually so far down on her wish list that it wouldn’t make her top twenty, so is not likely to be included in her personal ad.