Ask Isadora: A Peculiar Valentine

 A Peculiar Valentine
* For Valentine’s Day my boyfriend gave me bicycle clips for the bottom of my jeans. Bicycle clips! I know he’s not the candy or flowers kind of guy but what kind of man gives something like bicycle clips for a romantic occasion?
An imaginative one? An unromantic one? One who doesn’t buy into the “give her diamonds” seasonal hype? A practical one? One who cares about your safety? One who wants to do more bike riding with you? You choose.
* My girlfriend told me she has been exercising her kegle muscles. I have no idea what they are or why I should care. Is there a message here that I’m not getting?
Possibly. There is no such thing as kegle muscles. What she is probably referring to is Kegel exercises developed by Dr. Arnold Kegel. They exercise the PC muscles (that’s not politically correct, but pubococcygeal), the ones that cover the pelvic floor. The exercises  are of use to both women and men. For women they allow for stronger gripping of the penis during intercourse and more vigorous orgasmic contractions. For men, they make for stronger erections. For both, they help prevent “the dribbles”, unwanted leaking urine. Obviously, very important muscles.
* Do you believe that once a cheater, always a cheater? My husband travels for business and has had a one night stand on one of his trips. He told me about it, apologized, and assured me it won’t happen again. I am inclined not to make too big a deal over it since some stranger in a far away hotel is no threat to me or my marriage. He said he wore a condom so I’m not worried about catching anything. What concerns me is whether he is likely to do this again. I just don’t know. I sure would feel differently about this if it weren’t a one time thing but a frequent happening. What do you think?
I don’t believe that a person is doomed to be a repeater just because he or she does anything once, but some people are habitual cheats. They like the excitement, or the validation of their sexual appeal, or don’t care too much about keeping promises. You know your husband. Does he honor his word? I hope you told him what you told me and are quite explicit that forgiving a onetime lapse of good behavior is not a Get Out Of Jail Free card forevermore.
* My wife addresses me as Snookie. She also addresses her two grown daughters as Snookie and the cat, when she cuddles him. I would like to feel special and not just one of the many Snookies in her life. I have a feeling that since her first husband and I have the same name, she won’t want to address me by name. I don’t remember a time when she did, even when we were first dating. So if I don’t want a generic pet name and she doesn’t want two husbands with the same name, where is there a solution?
The solution lies in any number of singular pet names that would belong solely to you – Sweetie or Honey of Hot Lips. You choose. Another solution is in a variation of your given name – Don or Donny instead of Donald, for instance, or even in your initials. Come on, two adults have to be able to come up with some assortment of syllables that won’t be painful for her to say or annoying for you to hear. Sit down, be honest, and problem solve.