Only anecdotal, of course, because I haven’t been out to do any research, but I have heard of one person at least enjoying the months of “stress-free quiet time”.  She is not a social person by nature and has a lovely well-equipped home.  She listens to music, cooks from her well-stocked freezer, and works several … Continue reading Coping with COVID’s Stay at Home Orders →

If your answer is “we never fight” I might believe you but I’d be inclined to suspect that one of you is simply conflict avoidant and usually just accedes to the other.  Two people spending a great deal of time together, living together, can’t help but disagree about some things, even if it’s just how … Continue reading What Do You And Your Partner Fight About? →

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the phrase “My partner is my best friend”, said proudly mostly by younger people newly in love.  As people get older they usually have made other friends and this idea doesn’t come up as often. Older men have their guy friends, if they’re lucky, and women have … Continue reading Is Your Partner Your Best Friend? →

A recent New York Times article suggested a cure for the “I’m so tired of being cooped up with you” irritation.  Think back to when and where and how you first met your partner.  If you do not have a partner currently remember when you saw and talked to your best friend for the first … Continue reading Remembering When You First Met →

Yesterday I overheard two Filipino men in their 30’s talking about the loss of the girlfriend of one of them: “She just ended it.  No reason. How can I get her back?  I love her.” “She’s gone, Man.  Accept it.  You’ll grieve for a while but remember…” and then he said that piece of popular … Continue reading When One Door Closes Another One Opens →

There are certain iconic opposites that each of us wrestle with for ourselves.  No one else’s resolution will help.  Will you run the race to win vs. stop along the way to smell the roses?  Will you work toward a career in the family footprint or follow your heart?  Will you, young man, give in … Continue reading Bad Boys, Nice Guys, Good Girls and Sluts →

A recent question, posed at the end of another essay here, asked about the writer’s erection going limp after twenty minutes of sexual intercourse.  My immediate response (to myself, of course) was “Wow!” and “No wonder.” And then the sex therapist kicked in: “No one response is normal.  There is a wide variation in the … Continue reading How Long Should Sex Last? →

I have just spent 3 and a half weeks in a nursing and rehab center for a fractured right foot and a sprained left ankle as well as a post-surgical left knee. I was there, obviously, because I didn’t have a leg to stand on! Right before I entered the “Wellness Center” I received a … Continue reading Making Friends In the Strangest of Situations →

In my life I have been attracted to heterosexual men, bisexual men, gay men, and  transmen; straight women and gay, bisexual, and trans women. No, I am not pansexual. I am a heterosexual woman open to all my feelings. Being attracted does not necessarily mean I want to take them to bed and that’s the … Continue reading Attraction →

A frequent question any therapist hears is “Will I ever get over his affair?” or “How can I ever trust her again?”  There is no answer, of course.  Some people not only get over a breach of trust but can even forge a stronger relationship afterward. Others break up because of a partner’s cheating and … Continue reading Recovering From Infidelity →