A Life In Balance: The Grownups’ 4H club I have always conceptualized a balanced life for an adult much like a four-legged milking stool. Every leg must be equally stable in order for its user to rest solidly and comfortably on it.  If even one leg is shaky it will be difficult to hold one’s … Continue reading A Life in Balance: the Grownups’ 4 H Club →

There is an inside joke famous with psychotherapists called “Effective 3 Second Therapy”.  When a client complains of wanting to stop biting his nails or watching pornography or is struggling with any other unwanted behavior the therapist says s/he will now apply Effective 3 Second Therapy by looking the client directly in the eyes and … Continue reading Fighting With Your Partner →

Taking joy in your partner’s pleasure sounds like exactly what a good lover does. However, it is actually the definition of a word that might be new to you – compersion. An online source defines compersion as sort of like the feeling one might feel for a best friend happy in a romantic relationship. There … Continue reading Jealousy and Its Opposite →

Whatever happened to the dictum “Never put anything in writing that you would not want others to see?” As a therapist specializing in intimate relationships I cannot tell you how many cases of people being tripped up by their various messaging modalities I have seen in the past year.  Someone used the wrong words and was … Continue reading Intimate Relationships and Electronic Devices →

If you are in a committed relationship is it how you thought it would be?  Is the person with whom you are now coupled who you expected when you first fell in love and decided to be a couple? Very few of us are unsurprised by how it turns out once we are fully involved, … Continue reading Is Living Together What You Expected? →