Myth I. Men and women belong to two separate species who are at war.

We are all human beings who want the same thing—to be acknowledged for the person we are and to be loved. That’s not so strange. One of the two people might want love first in order to have sex and the other might want sex first in order to fall in love. One of the two might like roller skating and seafood, the other art galleries and meat.

The point is that any two people looking to form a relationship will have differences of personality not due to his or her gender. Do not look at those of the opposite sex as your adversary.

Myth II. There is one right way to begin a relationship.

No longer does he have to do the asking out nor does she need to wait to be asked.  Same sex couples don’t have this issue. Neither should male/female couples. The person who does the inviting pays for the date or arranges one where no payment is necessary.

Myth III. There is one right way to have a relationship.

Some important relationships are sexual; some aren’t. Some are romantic friendships, some are sexual friendships, some are just friendships, and some are friendships for quite some time before blossoming into love. As long as what it is and where it’s going is agreeable to both parties, no one else gets to vote on it. “First comes love, then comes marriage; then comes the couple with a baby carriage” is no longer a required relationship map.

Myth IV. There is one right way a sexual interaction must go.

No matter what an older sibling might have told you or what erotica you have looked at, there is no formula. Yes, some women like lots of foreplay, but many don’t. Some men require lots of foreplay. For some, talking and getting close psychologically is the greatest foreplay in the world. For others, they want plenty of physical warming up with favorite spots stimulated in specific ways. How are you to know? Of course, you can’t, so you can either do what you like to do and ask your partner, “Is this okay?” or you ask them what they like before you go ahead. Somehow or other, verbally or with body language, one partner communicates his or her preferences.

Myth V. There is one way you must be to merit love and sex.

There is always a commercial ideal: slender, busty, bearded, smooth-faced. You either fit the mold or not. Even when curvy women are all the rage, there will be lovers of women who prefer some other shape. There will always be those who prefer who you are (quiet, athletic, studious, outgoing) and what you look like. Wear your own skin proudly, and look for those to whom you are attracted. Eventually you will find a fit.