Ask Isadora: For the Goose or For the Gander

 For the Goose or for the Gander

* Men have been interested in much younger women as far back as stories in the Bible so what’s wrong with a mature woman being interested in a younger man or he in her? I’m getting all sorts of nasty comments from my friends and family, as if it’s any of their business!

What’s wrong with it? Absolutely nothing as far as I am concerned, and more and more people are coming to accept that same conclusion.  For those who  give you any grief hold your head high and ignore them. Maybe they are just jealous.

* I’m planning to go on a vacation to Hawaii next month by myself and I would like to take my vibrator with me.  I don’t want to be embarrassed by the airport scanner and I don’t want to leave my intimate friend behind either.  What do I do with it?

A rude response comes immediately to mind only because it strikes me funny. Never mind.  Actually, the airport folks have seen everything so a garden variety vibrator is unlikely to even raise an eyebrow. However, rather than put it in your carry-on luggage or in your purse, you can put it in your suitcase so you won’t have to actually face the security person who scans it. You may find a note that your bag has been gone through, but that’s not quite as much of a challenge as looking the inspector in the eye.

* My 50 year-old boyfriend cannot reach orgasm while having intercourse.  He can keep his erection and enjoys being inside me, but says he loses sensitivity and I must ultimately use my hands.  He’s a jogger, eats healthy and looks 10 years younger than his age, but I’m concerned it’s a health issue. Plus,  I really miss the intimacy of him having a “normal” orgasm.  I hope you can help me with this concern.

“Normal” is anything that is typical for him, so I assure you his response is not abnormal.  He may  be used to the pressure of hands, his own or a partner’s, for the grand finale.  While decreased genital sensitivity is normal for men, and women too as they age, his could be due to some disease process so I agree it would be wise for him to check with his doctor, particularly if this is a new happening for him.  Otherwise, please don’t get stuck in the idea that what you are used to is the way it ought to be.

* Can you tell me what a sexual surrogate is?  If it is what I think it is, how do these services differ from prostitution?

Prostitution is the exchange of sexual services for money.  A professional sexual surrogate receives training in sexuality, communication skills, and the workings of men’s and women’s bodies.  He or she works in conjunction with a licensed psychotherapist in a hands-on manner that is not allowed by the talk therapists’ license. The surrogate is a coach for such issues as physical rehabilitation after an injury or for adults who have never had successful sexual interactions.  If the client has no moral objection, this is an excellent and direct way to learn to be comfortable and in command of one’s own body during sex.  Sexual intercourse or any kind of sexual gratification is not a necessary part of their service, although their work may include intercourse. Exactly how intimate they will become is a decision to be mutually agreed upon during the process.