Ask Isadora: Is It Normal?

  Is It Normal?

*  I have been having an argument with my wife that I hope you can settle.  What is normal sex?

I’m not surprised you two can not agree on a definition.  Psychologists and sexologists have been wrangling on just that subject for decades.  They can’t even decide what normal sex ISN’T.  Academics want something to put into print.  When a couple argues about it, it’s usually about some act one of them does not want to do so labels it “not normal”. For your purposes, if any two consenting adults who are not drunk or high can find some pleasure in an act of their bodies then that can become part of their own “normal” repertoire.  You can be sure that, whatever it is, you did not invent it and it is not unique to humans…and probably not to various animal species either.

*Will you please contact one of your reliable Roman Catholic Priest resource persons and ask the following: If one spouse loses sexual desire (illness, injury, lack of interest) how does The Church view the spouse that is well and still has desire for activity?   Yes, I know there are ways of rekindling desire–not always successful, though. As you know, self satisfaction is generally viewed as sinful by Church.  Does the lack of partner’s interest change the view?    Can one “relieve” self, provided sexual fantasy does not involve thoughts/actions outside of marriage, without violating Church  rules?    This question, though it sounds trivial, is likely of interest to lots of readers. I read and enjoy your column on Sundays–it is a great service to many.

I am far from the right person to represent the Church’s teachings on sexual matters since we could not be father apart on most issues.  If you are reticent about approaching you own family priest  I suggest you visit another priest in a parish unknown to you for guidance on what the Church has to say. It is up to your conscience what to do then.

* Is it possible to break a penis?

Since there is no bone, (contrary to the use of the word “boner” to mean an erection),  a penis can not be broken like a finger can.  A penis can be damaged by being bent the wrong way when filled with blood and it can be severely bruised in any condition.  If you feel you may have hurt yourself please don’t let embarrassment stop you from getting medical attention ASAP.

*In regards to the question in your recent column about taking a vibrator on an aircraft  I have an additional suggestion to make.  The writer needs to remove the batteries from the vibrator!!  I used to be a gate agent and sometimes they get jostled around and then turned on accidentally.  When the baggage handlers hear or feel the vibrations, it is a suspect bag and the sheriff has to be called.  The passenger has to come off the aircraft and the bag has to be opened in front of the baggage handlers and the sheriff too.  It is very embarrassing for the woman, let me tell you.  I have witnessed this many times.  Anything battery operated, the batteries need to be removed. Please pass it on to your readers.  I’m sure that it will come in handy and save them lots of embarrassment!   I enjoy reading you column and look forward to more.

Thank you for writing in.  Isn’t it amazing what one can learn in the papers these days?