Ask Isadora: No Glove, No Love

No Glove, No Love

 *  I am  a single guy trying to do the right thing in always using condoms.  The last two girls I was with said  they didn’t want me to use them.  What’s up with that?

 In a recent study discussed in Contemporary Sexuality more than a third of the women polled said condoms decreased their sensations during sex.  Many felt that it made it more difficult to for them to get aroused and  some said using condoms made them feel distant from their partner. I know and you know that very few people would choose to use condoms if there were something better for the protection of them and their partner. Since there isn’t, the best thing you can do is make sure you are using them correctly, try ones in different  colors and textures, and make using them as much fun and sexy as possible. Not using a condom, unless you are in a long term positively monogamous relationship ,should just not be an option for any sensible man or woman. There are just too many nasty diseases out there.

* At times at my gardening club men have come up to me for gardening tips and we’ve had nice conversations. They were not on the make as far as I could see.  Also, when I was at the hospital for blood work, a doctor about my age struck up an interesting conversation with me while I was having coffee. For the first time in my life I feel attractive to the opposite sex, though not to my husband. All the men who talked to me told me their occupations and were highly educated.  My husband said “they’re just interested in getting into your pants”.  Is that how all men are really?

Absolutely not.  Your husband is being a dog in the manger.  That is, trying to keep others from enjoying what he can’t or won’t enjoy himself.

* I am a 42 yr old female I went though chemo and now I am to being sexual active again , I need to use lubrication. If I use that beforehand and my husband wants to perform oral is that ok for him to taste? I know there are different flavors but sometimes they irritate me. Thanks for your time and help .

So you have two things for which to test a new lubricant – whether or not it irritates your tissues and whether or not the taste is acceptable.  The best thing to do is buy and try the smallest tubes of several products to find some that fits the bill. Browse the personal products section of your drug store or go online to such sensual suppliers as or

* What happens to a women’s body if she never has sex again?  (I am using 1 mg. estrogen vaginally 3 times a week). I have never asked my doctor about this.

Vaginal tissues do dry out as we age.  The estrogen you’re taking helps to slow this process.  Using your own hand or a sex toy periodically to keep your juices flowing will do the same.  Other than that, one doesn’t die from no sex (although sometimes it feels like you might).  Just make sure your needs to give and receive affection, touch, and personal validation are being met at least partially in other ways through friends, family, pets.

* Are there any true male enlargement products and/or services out there ?

In a word, no. The only non-toxic, harmless, surefire method of enlarging your penis is becoming very very aroused, on your own or with an appealing partner.