* I am going through a very hard problem now. I got married a while back and I am now in a relationship with another man. I really love him a lot. We planned on getting married in August but I have not gotten a divorce yet. I am going down to the courthouse today and file. He has talked with his daughter and he now wants me to move out. What can I do to prevent this from happening? I can’t afford to be without him.

I suggest that instead of going to the courthouse to file for a divorce or planning your next wedding, what you do today is go apartment and job hunting. Get your life together, woman, so that it can not be undone by something your lover’s daughter says to him. You’re not ready for another marriage no matter how much you love him and it doesn’t sound like he is either. Please remember that marriage usually creates far more problems than it ever solves.

*Me and my girlfriend (both very secure with our relationship and 30 y/o) have always talked about swinging and we are both interested in it. More so I then she, considering I am the male half. Last week we were hanging out with 2 couples who are fairly new friends of ours, also into the same. The night naturally led to sex (all 3 couples involved) and I was unable to acquire an erection. This may have been because of alcohol consumption or maybe anxiety but whatever the case my feelings are a little scrambled about what took place that night. I am a happy-go-lucky guy but feel a little miserable at the moment. Watching my girlfriend with other guys turned me on but made me jealous at the same time. Is this because I was unable to participate due to my erection issue I encountered that night? Is what I’m feeling normal? We both talked about it and both of us want to try it again. What are your thoughts? Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Your responses are perfectly natural, both the good and the bad. If you decide to do it again you might be prepared for another balky erection and use your hands or a dildo. Also, go easy on the alcohol or any other stimulants. The one other thing I’d mention is be sure to play safe. Do not put anything into an orifice that has been elsewhere without cleaning it first. Use condoms and antibacterial wipes.

* How soon after a man comes can I expect him to be ready to go again? The last time I was with this guy I wasn’t really done when he was and I didn’t know what I should do or say or even if I should let him know.

Expectations are probably not a good idea. Hopes, sure, but not expectations. So much will depend on the man himself, his age, his stamina, his health, how long it’s been since sex before. Sometimes it’s a matter of minutes, sometimes it’s weeks, and anywhere in between. If he has come once and you’re still hungry a little help on your part would probably be welcomed.

* You’re based out in California, right? What do you think about California’s now allowing same sex marriage?

What I think is “Hurrah! It’s about time!” As California and Massachusetts go so goes the nation…eventually, even if it’s kicking and screaming into the 21st century.