* Recently I conducted an informal poll of my sexually healthy thirty-something lady friends in our weekly book reading club. Everyone there I spoke with confessed to indulging herself regularly, sometimes multiple times a day. I asked them why so often. They said “Let’s turn to a classic joke about why does a dog lick his balls. Because he can.” The same is true for us women when it comes to self pleasure. It’s quick, easy, and feels awesome. We too do it simply because we can. Like men, women try to rub one out whenever we get a chance. The most convenient time for us is usually first thing in the morning. I actually wait for my husband to leave for work. I just need to start my day with an orgasm. Most of the women I spoke with say the masturbate for the same reasons men do. They’re home alone and the opportunity is ripe, they want to relieve tension, they can’t fall asleep, they’re bored, or just plain horny. Women have no problem using their imagination. They described a variety of deviant fantasies ranging from the mildly taboo (lesbian experiences) to the downright filthy (being at the center of an all male gang bang). Just as often their thoughts are as innocent as imagining they’re having sex with friends, bosses and neighbors. I would love to have your comments on the above.
Do you imagine I or anyone would be shocked by what you wrote? What you and your friends have to say is certainly true of some women. It’s not true of all thirty-something women. There are those who never masturbate for a variety of reasons – they don’t know how, it doesn’t seem right, they feel their sexuality is the property of their partner, it makes them feel lonely, or they have little desire, to name a few. Others, like you and your friends do to varying degrees; some more, some less.
* Which would most people find more hurtful – a sexual affair or an emotional affair that remains chaste?
Of course it depend on the individual since some would find neither necessarily hurtful. Research does indicate that women are more distressed by extramarital emotional liaisons; men by sexual ones.I think most, unless in a negotiated polyamorous arrangement, would be at least discomfitted by an outside love affair that combines both.
* There is a group of adults and children who have moved in next door to me in a rented house. The adults are all more or less the same age, certainly not differing generations. They all have the same last name, or at least there’s only one last name on their mail box. I overheard one of them talking to another neighbor refer to his “family”. I don’t know what to make of this and am afraid they could be some sort of cult. What do you think?
Yes, a cult is one possibility. I’d be more inclined to think brothers or sisters or cousins and their off spring sharing a space. It could also be an unconventional arrangement like a man and two “wives” or a woman and two “husbands”. It could also be an intentional family, a blended group who have formed a chosen family. That happens more often these days. I know of one lesbian couple, their two children, and the gay male friend who was the semen donor for both who live together as a family of five. We could speculate until the cows come home, as they say, but unless they’re willing to spell out their relationship, you’ll just have to wonder.