May I Borrow Your Undies?

* I have been dating this lovely young woman for a few months and I have stayed over at her house several times. She has a great collection of lingerie in all sorts of colors. I peeked into her dresser when she was in the bathroom. The thing is, I have been dressing in women’s undies privately ever since I was a teenager and could get at my sister’s stuff. I would really love to play dress up with my girlfriend but I’m afraid she’ll be disgusted or turned off if I just flat out say so and yet I can’t think of any possible way to just “make it happen”. Do you have any ideas on how I can do this without risking the whole relationship?

There is always a risk in asking for what you want but this is a bigger risk than asking for ketchup to put on your cottage cheese. Can you introduce the topic in some impersonal manner? “I have a friend who…..” is a very popular way to test her reaction to the whole idea. Can you watch some erotica together featuring lingerie play and ask her how she feels about it? I have to say that even if the idea is not off-putting, may even be exciting, the actual sight of her guy in her best bra and panty set may be more than she was prepared for. I can understand your reluctance to just come out with it.

* I am 47 years old and I am beginning to go gray, not only on my head. I actually don’t mind the gray streaks in my hair, but gray pubes? Talk about feeling old! Is there anything I can do about it?

Sure, you can get rid of all or most of the hair by any number of means – shaving, electrolysis, hair removal products. Bald or narrow landing strips is the new look in pubes. You could also dye your pubic hair, taking great care not to get any of the coloring product on your sensitive skin. You could also have someone do either of these procedures for you. Recently, a corner store where I live caught me eye. It was draped in red white and blue bunting and had a big sign in the window “Farewell to Bush”. I assumed it was some sort of political headquarters but , on further investigation, it turned out to be a waxing salon.  If you’re a woman, call several estheticians to see if they do this. Many do. If you’re a man, many of the hair salons catering to gay men will also do this. Intimate area hair removal or dyeing of pubic hair is usually a same sex procedure.

 *I trained myself to last longer during sex and was proud of my ability until my new girlfriend told me I take too long. She wants me to come sooner. I don’t know if I can.

Of course you can. You trained yourself to change your natural pattern the first time so you can do it again. Having ejaculatory control means being able to come when you want to, sooner or later. Often, if a person, male or female, can not come when it is wanted it is because he or she is not getting the stimulation needed to reach that point. Think about anything you or your partner might do to get you there. That could include making sounds or speaking, getting into a different sexual position, stimulation some additional body parts. Experiment a bit and let your imagination be your guide.