* I have had two relationships that ended badly and weren’t all that satisfying while they were happening. Both guys were distant and not very caring to me. My father left my mother and me when I was very young and my step-father couldn’t care less about me. Because I never had a good caring male figure in my life does that mean I’m going to have screwed-up relationships over and over? How can I get over this?
You are not doomed by your history. It is more difficult to form a nurturing relationship if you’ve had no role model for one, but you still can create one. Look at those whose relationships you admire. Ask those of your own sex what qualities they looked for in choosing a mate and what they avoided. Learn from them and your own observations. If you still feel unable to make good choices about men, sex and intimacy, consider working with a good therapist to help you understand and improve the choices you do make and to undo your own negative early programming.
* What kind of therapy does a sex therapist apply for a person who is into on-line chatting and texting just to have sex in return?
If this behavior is not a problem for the person there is no need for therapy. If the person decides s/he is spending too much time or money or energy doing this and feels unable to stop, then it’s a problem that can be addressed by therapy. I use cognitive behavioral (change your thoughts and your change your behavior), but other kinds might work as well. What you describe is usually the complaint of someone who wants his or her partner “cured” or “fixed”, seldom the person who’s doing the chatting ….particularly if s/he’s successful!
* I just discovered something I bet lots of women knew about and I wish they had spoken up. I just got off from the jets in a friend’s hot tub. Is there any danger in that? The jets in that tub were really powerful. My clit felt bruised for a while afterward, but I’m not complaining.
The danger is really in where the water is coming from (recycling other people’s bath water in a public tub, for instance) and where it’s going (like up your urethra as well as onto your clitoris). The plumbing of any hot tub, even a private one, can harbor all sorts of germs and bacteria you don’t want in your urethra especially if you are prone to urinary tract infections. The bruising or numbing out of the clitoris is a common (and temporary) side effect of vigorous stimulation.
*Would you settle an argument please. I say a gang bang is the same as a gang rape. My friend says the person getting banged can be consenting, and in that case it can also be called “pulling a train.” What do you say?
I say this is as good an argument as any at this time of the year. You could be arguing politics and there would go the friendship. Oddly, the first definition for pulling a train that comes up on an online sex definition site is a group of men linked together anally, then the definition of a woman taking on several men. Pulling a train seems to imply a consenting person at the bottom of the heap welcoming all, er, comers, while a gang bang usually (but not always) does imply a nonconsenting recipient of several men’s attentions Now, isn’t that an answer that would do Miss Manners proud?