* I appreciate your classy, professional, kind approaches to delicate subjects. I don’t read the paper every week, but hopefully you have some answer for me. I am 53, in fabulous shape, look like I’m 40 ish. I have been with my Karezza lover for 2 years. He has never ejaculated with me. We reach the divine together for 4, 5 hours, and he is 57! I love it, love it, love it. I am COMPLETELY spoiled. The problem is that I want a partnership. I want to couple and live together with a karezza man. My lover does not want anything of the sort. That’s OK. He knows I am still looking. Where can I find such a man? Is there a Karezza relationship site? I am not only spoiled, but the things I do with him, no ordinary man would last (this is proven) for more than a few minutes. They just gush and it’s all over. And the thought of carrying a sperm load inside me with all the fish stink it makes really turns my stomach.
Your dilemma is shared by millions of people who have special requirements in a lover. Either go where “they” are and hope to find a good match among those who share your predilection, or choose from the general population and, when you have found a good one, hope you can teach him to share your preferences. Sometimes one approach works, sometimes the other. Avoiding unwanted ejaculate is the easy part. You ask any lover of yours not trained in Karezza to either pull out before coming or to wear a condom. There are men who can last a long time without Tantric training so asking for one who can broadens your choices. If you check the freebie papers in your area I bet you’ll see ads for Tantric workshops or you can find some local resources online. Those workshops often have more male participants than female so ask the group leader what is the gender makeup of the workshop. Happy hunting.
* My daughter called me a cougar. I had to assume it was something unpleasant, since she didn’t say it lovingly. I found out from a friend of mine that it’s a not very complimentary term for an older woman who preys on younger men. I guess it’s the equivalent of a Dirty Old Man. I am 47. I have started seeing a man in his 30’s. My daughter is 24. We have never run into any issue about competing for men in any way and I don’t think 10 years or so is an enormous difference between adults. What do you think?
I think “More power to you”, but then, I wear the term cougar with pride (using “willing to socialize with” in place of “preys on” ). You say you and your daughter have not been or are not in competition, but the same ten years or so that separate you and your guy in age are the same 10 years or so that separate him in age from your daughter. Perhaps she had her eye on him for herself, or would like to. For the sake of domestic peace I suggest a heart to heart discussion with your daughter about dating guidelines in the future so no toes are stepped upon. In my own home when both my daughter and I were single I reluctantly agreed never to date anyone her age or younger. Now that she’s happily married I feel no such constraints.