* I happen to be attracted to women with large breasts. That’s not all that attracts me. I care about temperament, intelligence, and a few other things, but large breasts are among them. I am becoming more involved with a woman I’m dating whom I like very much. She has small breasts. Would I be out of line asking her about the possibilities of having them enlarged?

Think about it. How would you feel if she asked you about having hair transplants, waxing your back, or going to charm school? I am not a believer in the concept of unconditional love but you’re spouting the opposite here – “I might love you if you change in the following ways” – and I’m not too keen on that either. You could certainly bring up the subject. Why not? But don’t be surprised if she figuratively spits in your eye. I think I would be inclined to do just that.

*If I want to go on birth control pills and don’t want to see my usual doctor about it, where would I go?

Planned Parenthood or a women’s clinic are possibilities. So is seeing a new gynecologist, perhaps one recommended by a friend. You’re not just popping a cough drop here. Sometimes birth control pills are not the best option. Your medical history is important when making such a decision so treat this with the respect due any heavy duty medicine.

* I’m a connoisseur of many sex columnists including yours. I’ve noticed that your audience tends to skew a bit older and some of your readers have very prejudiced opinions about sex. Take this guy in a recent Q & A for example: “…Other people, mostly female people, seem to want to stick to a narrow range of comfortable activities and that’s it.” Being male and having had enough experience with women to know, in my opinion, this guy is way off stating “mostly female people” want to “stick to a narrow range.” I’m guessing that this guy has not really found a partner he can be open and intimate with. Some of the most outwardly conservative women I have known really turned into sex kittens as we got familiar over time. I can’t remember who said it, but some female celebrity said of southern women, “We’re ladies in public and whores in bed.” He’s just got to get over himself and really start to connect.

Or connect better with different women.

* The new guy I‘m dating seems to need help getting a good erection. He seems eager to get me in bed, says the right things, but when we get down to it he‘s never hard enough to enter me without a little help from my hands, mouth, or sometimes rubbing against my breasts. Does he not find me attractive enough or does he have an erectile dysfunction?

It’s possible he does have some dysfunction, but it’s equally possible that he doesn’t. He may not be in the first flush of youth where an erection often behave like a jack in the box. It could be that because the relationship is new he’s still getting used to you and sex with you. He could also be one of those men (yes men too!) who need more foreplay before being ready for intercourse. Each man and woman has differing requirements for optimal sex or even for minimally doable sex. Part of the getting to know you process of a budding relationship, particularly one with sex in it, is discovering what these are. Talking about it is a good start. Remember my tip on what cures or improves most sexual difficulties: more lubrication, more communication.