* Since my early teens, I have been masturbating. This sounds normal, every man masturbates. Mine is a bit different. I always looked for images and porn to masturbate, mostly porn. It wasn’t a pleasure thing; it was a need for me. Besides, it wasn’t like “first try and enjoy, then become addict”. It was something that I was born into, like a part of me, watching and enjoying. For the last 15 years of my life, I have been doing this an hour a day. I’m opening a web site related to porn (mostly amateur staff). I begin masturbating and when I’m about to ejaculate, I stop and open another clip and start again. After 1 hour, I reach orgasm. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I realized after a long masturbation session without ejaculation final orgasm is giving more pleasure then a normal quick session. Also, I can control my ejaculation in my sexual life and this makes my partner happy. What I’m asking is : What can be the possible reason behind my habit? Can it damage my brain? I have some big goals in my life and can this have a negative or a positive effect in my creativity or IQ? Finally, this may sound silly but one of the psychologists I visited here told me that my visual intelligence is so improved and I’m doing this because of that. What do you say about that?

You’re perfectly normal. You masturbate because, like most young men, you have a strong sexual appetite. Some masturbate to porn images, some to fantasies of previous lovers; some focus solely on the sensations. Every man has his preference, you have yours. There is nothing unusual about yours except devoting an hour a day to it. That’s a bit much for someone who has big goals in life. Your brain won’t be damaged. I doubt that it has any effect on your creativity or IQ. Bringing yourself close to orgasm and then backing off is an excellent way to teach yourself better ejaculatory control with a partner. As for what the psychologist said about your visual intelligence (whatever that is), that’s anyone’s guess, but clearly you are a visual person.

* After a year of great sex, all of a sudden my boyfriend is having erection problems. Sometimes he can’t even have an orgasm. Could this be physically caused?

Could be. There’s a lot of unknowns in your question – his age, his health, his lifestyle, your relationship. As a sex therapist I’d explore all the possible causes as well as strongly suggesting he get a thorough physical evaluation. Sometimes the likely cause is obvious. Perhaps, like the guy mentioned below, he’s having second thoughts about your relationship. Maybe he’s using drugs or alcohol to excess. Maybe he’s about to be fired at work. Show your concern for his health and suggest he say his doctor or a good sex therapist. He may already suspect which to consult first.

* My fiancé seems to be getting cold feet. He says he loves me but he’s not sure he’s in love with me.What do I do now?

What does he want to do about his doubts, has he said? He may want to handle them by dating others, by going into therapy alone or with you, or simply just not rushing forward into marriage but keep on seeing one another. A statement like that certainly sounds worth exploring, without any blame or accusations if possible. Once you know what he wants to do about his feelings you can assess what you want to do about yours.