* I am a 64 year old man, divorced, and honestly, lonely. I eat all my meals out and I see women eating alone or in small groups and wonder if I could ask to join them, just for the conversation. I’d really like to have a woman in my life to occasionally go out with but I am not looking for another wife. Do you think, like I do, most woman my age want to be married?

Some do, but by no means all. Many want just what you do – someone to have some fun with occasionally, but not to move in or take over their life. Many have their own home, their families, their own money, but miss male companionship. I suggest that before you ask to join strange women at dinner you look into the many dining out clubs for singles that abound. Some restaurants have communal tables for single diners. Look around for any of those too. Any group for singles – sports clubs, dancing classes, book discussions – usually have more women then men. Be friendly and approachable. The numbers at your age are very much in your favor. Just remember that many women want what you want and would be thrilled to share a meal or even a cup of coffee….but after they have a chance to size you up under more comfortable circumstances than being unexpectedly intruded upon in a restaurant.

* Why would a man look on porn but not be interested in having sex with his wife who is more than willing? I just don’t understand it.

There are many reasons. He might have performance anxieties like not getting hard or not being able to satisfy her. He might be angry with her. It might be bored and looking for some fantasy material. Often, a man can’t answer the question even if it were put to him in the most nonjudging manner possible. So. If this is your situation and your man, I would, instead of asking why, tell him that you miss being physical and urge him to accompany you to a sex therapist to figure out how to get back in the saddle together again or at least onto the same horse.

* Is it really safe to meet someone through personal ads? I hear such conflicting stories.

That‘s because people have differing experiences. Some could curl your hair with their horror stories of disappointing dates with those who were not what they hoped them to be. Many others have formed wonderfully satisfying relationships with someone they could not have met otherwise. Take normal precautions about meeting a stranger and don’t aim for happily ever after right off the bat. At the very least you will not be bored with the process of playing or answering personal ads.

*Your answer to the man who was thinking of asking his new girlfriend if she’d consider having her breasts enlarged (that she’d feel he only likes her conditionally) was fine as far as it went. However both of you seem to ignore a critically important point: breast enlargement is major surgery. People can actually die from it, although that is not common. So really, it’s less like her asking him to shave his back (one of your examples) and more like her asking him to have his liver moved to the other side of his body so she could find him more attractive – not a reasonable request.

I agree, not reasonable. However, it comes up far more often than a request to reposition one’s liver.