*Is it okay to have sex while a woman is on her period? My mom and my sister have different opinions on this.

I would guess it’s not okay with at least one of them. There is no medical reason why not. Some religions believe that a woman is “unclean” at that time of the month and that she will sour the milk or a permanent wave in her hair won’t come out well or other such superstitions. Many women are far too uncomfortable to enjoy sex when they are menstruating. Others, women and their partners, just don’t want to deal with the mess. So here are some facts. It’s up to the woman and her partner whether they want to have intercourse while she is on her period. They can have other kinds of sex rather than penis-in-vagina. In fact, an orgasm is great relief for menstrual cramps – hers, not yours! There is no harm in stopping the blood flow with a tampon or a diaphragm for the brief time it takes for intercourse. If a woman is HIV positive her menstrual blood may be dangerous to a partner. Finally, one can’t rely on a woman’s period as a safe method of birth control because it is still possible to become pregnant when a woman is menstruating.

* It looks like porn actors can come on command. How do they do that?

The camera can start and stop at the director’s command so much of what you see are photographic tricks. Many porn performers do have excellent ejaculatory control helped along by drugs like Viagra and mental aids like imagining something hot and sexy while they are engaged in boring sex. A man can train himself to relax and/or focus, but few I have heard of can literally come on command.

* I am a 19 year old guy and I have what sounds like a dumb question. Why do people have sex?

That’s not such a dumb question. When I lecture on sexual matters I often ask the audience to call out a reason why someone might engage in sex and I write them on a chalk board. I seldom have a list that’s shorter than a dozen. Here are some common ones: for orgasmic release, for comfort, because it feels good, for skin on skin contact, to show love, to feel loved, to bond as a couple, out of boredom, to feel powerful, in payment or trade for other favors, to feel more manly or womanly, out of friendship, to relieve tension, and to make a baby. The last reason is the only exclusively heterosexual reason on the list.

* This isn’t about sex exactly but it is about a sexual part. I have little pieces of TP stuck in my vagina after wiping myself when I pee. I can feel them with my hand. I am reluctant to have my husband give me oral sex even though I keep myself clean, because I’m afraid he’ll come across some used tissue. Yuck! Other than confine oral sex to only those times I have just taken a bath and done a thorough inspection with my hand, what can a woman do about this? I can’t be the only one who has this problem.

The first thing to try is to change brands of toilet paper. Some of them don’t disintegrate as easily when moist. The next possible solution, though far more expensive, is to use a bidet or at least a hand shower head after using the bathroom. A new brand of TP is far easier. By the way, the leftover pieces are unlikely to be IN your vagina but caught between your inner vaginal lips.