* The man I’m seeing is taking a new medicine for some undefined health problem which is making him grow breasts. We’ve been dating for less than three months but I can see that his breasts are growing. He has about a B cup, about the size of my own. I’m worried that he may be transitioning from male to female and just isn’t telling me the truth. How can I find out?

Unless you’re willing to break into his medical records you will have to ask him outright . You could ask him what medicine he’s taking and for what condition or you could ask him directly whether he is a transsexual . What reason would he have to hide such a critical issue from a woman he’s dating? It’s hardly something he could keep hidden for very long. I’d just come out and say something like “So, what’s going on with your growing breasts?”

* My wife is pregnant with our first child. She says she would like me with her in the delivery room but I don’t want to be there. I’m afraid to tell her that seeing all that pain and blood and mess will make me see her in a far different and far less sexy way. Actually, I’m afraid watching the birth will ruin our sex life forever. Am I crazy?

No, and you’re not alone. Many men discover what you fear after the fact. (Although I must say that many other men say they would not have missed witnessing the birth of their child for anything.) If you can’t bring yourself to tell her the truth then consider being with your wife in the delivery room, holding her hand while she labors, and keeping your eyes on her face. If that strikes you as dangerously close to what you fear , then privately tell your wife’s doctor that you might faint. That ought to get you banned from the delivery room.

* My boyfriend wants to sleep over at my house on occasion. The problem is that he sleeps nude and I have young children. I’m not willing that they get their sex education with such dramatic visuals. What’s the best way to handle this?

There’s no reason for them to see Mommy in bed with anyone, clothed or not. Make his sleepovers conditional on his wearing shorts or pj’s at your house and /or put a lock on your bedroom door. No matter what the ages of your children, if they can walk they are old enough to be taught to respect a closed bedroom door.

* Have you ever known a relationship that’s really open where everyone involved knows everything or a polyamorous one where several adults live together and have sex? Do you think they can work?

Yes, I’ve known open relationships and polyamorous ones, group marriages, and relationships of every variety and combination of more than two people. They work as often as heterosexual monogamy does, which is some of the time. People are complicated around love, sex and intimacy, and different individuals have differing needs. There is no reason that any arrangement under the sun shouldn’t work (think of arranged marriages between strangers). With realistic expectations and good communications any combination of adults loving and having sex can work…until it doesn’t. And because many unconventional situations eventually do fall apart is no reason to condemn them out of hand. Look at the statistics on conventional heterosexual monogamous marriage. There is no one-size-firs-all in mating styles.