* My boyfriend sometime doesn’t call me for several days. When he does he acts like nothing is wrong. What does this mean?

It could mean he sees nothing wrong in not calling for several days. Since you obviously do, it’s time to make your wants and expectations more clear. That doesn’t mean he’ll hop to necessarily, but relationships, whether love affairs, marriages or friendships, are all about learning and expressing one another’s particulars. What you want, what you don ‘t want, what pleases you and what makes you angry are all vital information to be exchanged. If you’re not sure yourself what makes you tick, and young people often aren’t, don’t get mad at the other person for not figuring it out. Maybe your last boyfriend called you every hour on the hour and you just realized that you miss that. Maybe his last girlfriend asked for a lot more space so he thinks all females require it. People would get along so much better if we all came with little printed tags like on plants specifying our care and feeding instructions and what it takes to make us flourish and bloom. Since we don’t, it’s up to each of us to pass along that information verbally.

*What are the factors influencing a person to be sexually active at an early age?

There are many: peer influence, parental guidance, community standards, a high libido, poor impulse control, to name a few. All will influence an individual to some degree, even plain old opportunity.

* Have you heard of “miffy”? What is it?

It’s short for the chemical name mifepristone (brand name Mifeprex) for the RU-486 pill which ends a pregnancy. It works by blocking the hormone progesterone. Women take the pill in a medical office, and then take another drug at home, misoprostol, which triggers contractions causing a miscarriage. Its use has become increasingly common alternative to abortions. According to a recent newspaper report, more than 840,000 U.S. women have used it since it was introduced here from France in 2000.

* I am a 36 year old man in a relationship for 2 years with S. I told her in the beginning that what I wanted was an open relationship, with each of us being free to sleep with others occasionally. She agreed. Up to now the issue just hasn’t come up again, I guess because the relationship was new and hot. But now it has and she’s putting up a fuss. There is a woman I work with that I’d like to get next to. I have told this to S. I’m not a cheat and I haven’t asked this co-worker out yet. I want to do this with S’s full agreement which I’m not getting. So now what?

Back to the drawing board, I guess. It’s not uncommon for the rules to change in a relationship, often on one side without notifying the other. People change. (“My husband got fat” or “My wife doesn’t enjoy sex any more”) Their wants and needs within a relationship also change. Whining at your girlfriend “But you promised” isn’t going to accomplish anything, even though that’s what you feel like doing. So calmly explain your position, listen carefully to hers, and see what if anything, you two can negotiate. Perhaps S. would feel better if she met the woman or maybe she doesn’t want to hear any of the dirty details. There are many ways to conduct an open relationships but the ground rules have to be agreed on to minimize (not eliminate!) the possibility of hurt feelings. If you can’t reach an agreement you may have to decide between your desire for an open relationship and your desire for a relationship with S.