Somewhere online I recently read an excellent article by Kelly Gonsalves on the ideas of a licensed marriage and family therapist named Beverly Andre. Andre wrote about being “intentional” in your relationship; meaning always being aware and thinking about what your relationship needs to function better and ultimately to grow—not waiting until there is a problem … Continue reading Making Your Relationship Work Without “Work”
If ever there were proof of “getting in one’s own way,” it is the false beliefs about relationships, love and sexuality that many of us harbor.—starting from the ubiquitous “I can’t meet someone special”, through the confusion of sexual orientation to romantic beliefs about love and sexual activity. Here are a few helpful suggestions about navigating … Continue reading Four More Miserable Myths About Love & Sex
Edit Winter holidays present opportunities for families to finally gather after more than a year of most sensible people avoiding them. Thanksgiving, Hanukkah or Christmas, Kwanza, New Year’s Eve may mean seeing family who have been missed for many months. Holidays also may mean familiar frictions in both senses of the word. Do your parents … Continue reading Some Solutions For Problem Family Gatherings
Myth I. Men and women belong to two separate species who are at war. We are all human beings who want the same thing—to be acknowledged for the person we are and to be loved. That’s not so strange. One of the two people might want love first in order to have sex and the … Continue reading Five Miserable Myths of Sex & Relationships
Doctor: Are you sexually active? Patient: No, I usually just lie there. The old joke is funny unless it describes your own partner, particularly your longtime partner. Always being the one to initiate sexual activity gets old very soon. Always asking and never being asked creates the feeling of being unloved no matter how responsive … Continue reading Initiating Sex: Is It Your Turn?
My counseling clients often take notes in their sessions with me, or intend to. They almost always take away something I said that struck them as meaningful or something they themselves said during our conversation that’s important or memorable. Because I like to leave each person I have counseled with a “take-away” I put together … Continue reading A Happy Healthy Person in a Happy Healthy Relationship
A woman usually fakes orgasm because she can find no good way to tell her partner that she is unable to reach it (1) with what s/he is doing or how s/he is doing it, (2) with any partner, or (3) she never has and doesn’t know how. She may be embarrassed herself for her … Continue reading Why Women Fake Orgasms and How They Don’t Have To
“Men with beards are officially best in the sack” screamed the headline of my email. I usually like bearded men and have some fond memories of beards myself so I read on. OnBuy.com (https://www.onbuy.com/gb/), who bill themselves as the U.K.’s most trusted marketplace, often send me the most fascinating news blasts. In this case they … Continue reading Did the Best Lover You Ever Had Wear A Beard?
These famous words attributed to the great actress Greta Garbo are not possible to type with a Swedish accent. Perhaps that’s the way you say them directly to whomever you are quarantined with – your partner, your roommate, or your family. Some people don’t know how to say it directly so just grit their teeth … Continue reading “I Want To Be Alone”
I can think of only two main reasons you might be reluctant to say what you want to say to someone you respect or care about: One, you are going to hurt his or her feelings and two, you are afraid s/he will get angry. All the other reasons I have heard over the years … Continue reading When You Have Something Difficult to Say