* I went on my first date with this guy yesterday and we really had a great time. I just don’t know if I should invite him out or not next. Do I just have to sit and wait to see if he calls me again? Geez, this is hard. I don’t know.
See, nobody does. There is a certain amount of uncertainty built into the dating game. That’s a good part of what makes it exciting. As I have said before and will again, there is no way this has to be. You can wait and see if he asks you out again or you can ask him. Just remember, there is no one right way. Every two people make up their relationship and its process as they go along. Grown-up Show & Tell, I call it. He’ll either call again or he won’t. If he does, you get to tell him that you like to do the calling some of the time. If you call him he gets to tell you how much he likes that, or he doesn’t. And so it goes. The more each of you reveals about your likes, dislikes, expectations, etc. the more likely you both will be to find this relationship enjoyable and the less (but not entirely none) angst there will be in it.
* If I learn the Tantric method of having an orgasm without ejaculation that I’m working on, where does the ejaculate go if it doesn’t come out the penis tip? Does it get reabsorbed into the body?
What you’re describing is retrograde ejaculation, where the ejaculation is triggered but doesn’t “squirt”. It does get reabsorbed back into the body. This is the usual result of prostate surgery. Karezza, the Tantric method of reserving ejaculation is different. There is no ejaculation, outward or inward, but there is an orgasm. In this way a man can stay hard after his orgasm and can continue to have as many orgasms as he would like.
* I am a newly married stay-at-home mom. When my husband comes home from work every night he always grabs me and wants to hustle me off to the bedroom. I like sex, and I’m glad he misses me, but after we’ve been apart all day I need time to get to know him and want him. Does that seem strange to you? My husband thinks I’m crazy and says I’m using excuses to turn him away. When it’s been just me and my baby for 8 or 9 hours this big loud grabby presence makes me shrink away. If we could talk for a while I know I’d want to be with him, but I feel attacked and hurried the way it is now. How can we fix this?
You fix this the way you fix all differences in personal style between two intimates – by discussing it and negotiating something that works for both of you. This same clash of my way and yours happens between all couples on some level – the saver and the spender, the owl and the lark, the instantly hot and the slower to warm up. Suggest that he take a hot bath when he comes home, or change clothes or have a cocktail, some sort of break between work and home wherein you can become used to (and,one hopes, turned on to) him once more. On your part you can begin by anticipating his homecoming and perhaps fantasizing. Sort of, start without him. In any case, time is on your side. When your baby becomes a toddler instant sex on demand is likely to become a thing of the past.