If his solo sex practices are causing difficulty between you and you’re both in the same relationship, then you both have the problem, don’t you think? I think what you’re asking is “who’s right here”, something no sensible advice giver would venture to decide. It would help to look at the beliefs and assumptions that underlie your discomfort: Do you see masturbation as something a grown man should not be doing or something a man in a sexual and romantic relationship shouldn’t need to do? In both cases, statistics are not in your favor, since most men, single or couples indulge in solo sex. Do you feel he is taking something away from you by spending sexual energy elsewhere? By your own statement his libido is higher than yours. Do you feel one down by comparing yourself to his fantasy images or imagine that he is doing that? Does his sitting at the computer masturbating take time away from you? Would you be less upset if you didn’t know what he did in private? I always recommend self-talk before bringing up a touchy matter with the other person. If you can tell him that you feel left out when he goes to the computer and closes the door or that you’re afraid he finds the women he looks at more attractive than he does you, then the two of you can do some constructive problem solving by addressing your specific issue. Just saying you feel uncomfortable about his masturbation practices leaves the only possible solutions as (1) he needs to stop or (2) you need to get over it. No happy compromise in that.

* I am dating a man whose field of expertise is presidential studies. Since this is an election year, we have been traveling all over the states and even to Europe. Since we are more mature, well over 50, people assume that he is my husband and they introduce me as his wife – my first name, his last. I have not come up with a polite way of telling folks that we sleep together on week-ends, but we are not married! How do I handle this “wife” business?

I personally don’t think it’s anyone’s business whether you are married and sleeping together or not, or sleeping together and married or not, unless, for some reason you feel it to be crucial they know. Correcting someone by saying your full name could mean you have kept your maiden name and are his wife, or that you’re not married. Correct and ambiguous. My married daughter goes by her first and middle name .A male friend of mine recently took his wife’s last name. Isn’t lovely to live in a time when all things are possible?

* Why can’t some people control their libido while others can?

Some have stronger libidos than others. Some have stronger inhibitions than others. Some learn better methods of control. Anyone can learn to put their sexual desires in the proper place in their life. It takes more effort for some than for others.

* Can a man fake an orgasm? There’s a bet riding on this.