*I am 31 years old man and married for four years. I have a foot fetish and it is creating problems for my married life. I am not able to have intercourse because I do not get aroused unless there is feet involved. My wife does not knows about my fetish, and if I try to kiss her feet etc., she does not like that as she thinks feet are dirty and she feel ticklish. I am not comfortable telling my wife about my fetish. Is there a treatment for this kind of problem, or what are the treatment options? Is it possible to completely or partially get rid of fetish? Have you dealt with such kind of cases?
I have not heard of someone actually “getting rid” of any particular turn-on. What a good sex therapist can do is help you find some methods of incorporating it into your life in ways that are not so troublesome. For instance, there are ways to involve your wife that don’t require a confession of a fetish but a predilection to enjoy her beautiful feet. The difference is in the approach. Sex therapy might also help you to broaden your array of sexual stimuli so that you can respond to more than just your fetish object. In any case, start with finding a good sex therapist near you. (www.aasect.org) and making some investigative phone calls until you find a good fit.
* My new boyfriend has a penis that, when erect, has a distinct, almost L-shaped bend to it. It makes it rather challenging to accomplish intercourse comfortably. When I asked him about it he said he thought his penis had been broken when he was a kid. Is that even possible? If it is, how can you not remember something as traumatic as such an injury?
Penises are rarely absolutely straight. They can curve up, down, right or left. L-shaped, however, is fairly atypical. It is possible that your guy had an injury of some sort that resulted in scar tissue that pulls his erection into this shape. I’m surprised it has not been painful enough to motivate him to see a urologist. I propose you make that suggestion for the sake of both of you.
* I am engaged to be married for almost 5 years. We have planned our wedding for this fall when he is finished with his graduate studies. Now my fiancé say says he thinks he’d like to take a year off and travel – alone! – before settling down. What do I do? Calling off the wedding will be rather expensive. I have deposits on various things like the hall and the photographer that I don’t know whether I will be able to recover. Don’t you think he’s being inconsiderate go bring this up now?
Postponing or canceling a wedding is a lot cheaper than divorce, I assure you – financially and emotionally. Assuming you can beg, bribe or guilt trip him into going through with the wedding and not indulging his wanderlust, I’m afraid you’ll both pay for it eventually. So, what do you do? You sit down and discuss the situation rationally. Would it be possible to marry and then travel together? Is this trip really about marriage cold feet? If you find yourself quarreling or reaching no solution that would work for you both, I suggest some couple counseling to sort things out. Since you’ve waited this long another year or so wouldn’t be that bad compared to the possibility of an unhappy marriage.