* We are two women in a longterm relationship. My partner is older than I and is going through a difficult menopause. I am sympathetic, of course, but her mood swings are driving us both crazy. Is there anything that can be done about them? How long are we both going to have to endure this?
I can’t give you a time table. Menopause difficulties, or the lack of them, are highly individual with many variables. Genetics, general health (mental and physical), life situations, will all play a part. That said, get your partner to a doctor that specializes in hormones since that’s what causing her difficulties. Some GYN’s are more knowledgeable in this area than others and employ both traditional medicines and newer herbal approaches, so seek out a specialist and don’t give up. She may have to try several things for a while in order to find the correct balance for her.
* Can I ask my boyfriend to spend more time with me on the weekends? He says I’m needy and demanding when I do. I say he’s neglectful and not very caring. I think he should WANT to spend more time with me rather than whining about my requests. How can we resolve this?
By finding other mates perhaps. Each individual has a personal tolerance for togetherness vs. need for private time. Yours may be very different than his. He may also have a hobby that he enjoys and may have to choose between it and you in his non working hours. Some couples solve this dilemma by sharing a hobby like golf or going to garage sales. Even having the same set of friends makes social time easier if you both want to be with the same people. Decide for yourself what you think is a reasonable request. You might like him to want to spend every waking moment with you, but realistically settle for one day out of the weekend or every other full weekend. Then ask him to discuss it with you. What would be his ideal set-up? If you can’t find an arrangement that works for both of you any in which one of you gives in to the other is soon likely to have that person feeling very put upon and unhappy, just like you are now. Look closely at how far apart you are in your wants and expectations to see if this relationships is a workable one.
* I am a professional woman who is having some carpentry work done in my home. The workman is a very attractive man probably about 20 years my junior, also single. You see where this is going, or where I hope it might go. What do you think?
I think “why not?” If your looking for a brief romancette or a bounce, as a friend of mine used to call a lighthearted romp, I’d certainly wait until all the work is done satisfactorily and the bill paid in full before you put his talents to any other test. If you have anything more serious in mind this is a good time to get to know him and assess possibilities. In either case, don’t do a thing if you decide to do anything, until your work relationship is completed. One of the good things about modern times coupling is that there is no necessity for the man to be older, taller, wealthier, of higher status, etc. Anyone can play the game which means anyone is fair game as well.