* OK so I’ve been seeing this guy for the past three years and its been like five months since we’ve been “on break”. We are still seeing each other because we want to see if it works out but the thing is that he hasn’t brought anything up about us trying it again. I love him a lot and everything but sometimes I say to myself that if he wanted something serious he would’ve done it already. Right? We hang out and we act like we are dating but we are not officially boyfriend and girlfriend again. What‘s up? Also, lately I’ve been venting my feelings and telling him my needs and how he sometimes makes me feel ignored by him but when I do that he avoids me or he distances away from me. What‘s up with that? I am not understanding the fact that I already changed for this guy. I gave him everything, and I always put him first and still nothing has happened. What should I do?
Face facts, I‘m afraid. Love has no logic and changing for him does not win you Brownie points. He obviously does not like the new you who tells him what she feels and what she wants (and thereby pressures him). He seems to be willing to let things hang loose for a while without any specific definitions or promises. If you press him to redefine your relationship my guess is you will lose him, but that may not be as terrible as you suspect. If you‘re not getting what you want and he is unwilling to give it to you it may be time to move on to find it elsewhere. Asking for exactly what you want in a relationship is always worth a shot, but know in advance that you may not get it and may lose what you have. Is it worth the risk?
* How do you know something is weird or not? I don‘t want a new partner to look at me funny if I say or do something weird.
Sex is a risky business, Sweetie, and everything is going be to peculiar or disgusting to some just as it will be someone else’s wildest fantasy come true. There are collections of books on men‘s and women’s fantasies (you don‘t say which you are) so you can check out your desires within those pages. Nancy Friday has written several but there are others. Even the Q & A section of Playboy is a microcosm of other people‘s fantasies. Looking over what is available in commercial pornography will tell you a lot about the huge range of things others find erotic, much of which you personally will find weird. Talking about sexual preferences before you get to the physical part of the relationship is a good way to judge whether a new partner might be receptive to your suggestions. Asking “How do you feel about……?” is a very good way, but you risk the other person saying or thinking it’s weird even without actually DOING anything. So there you are. If you don‘t risk it, what happens is that you are unlikely to get what you really want.
* Can you give me any tips on seducing a woman?
Seducing has the connotation of getting her to go to bed with you against her will. You‘ll have a much better time (and so will she, if it matters) if she comes to your bed, or wherever, willingly and enthusiastically. How you accomplish that is by being charming and sexy and subtly suggesting that when she gets to your bed, or wherever, you will both have a very good time.